A little bit about life and loss

Hi friends,

So, I haven’t written a blog post in a bit. Sorry about that.

Life has been busy. I have been dealing with a lot of different personal things including the death of my grandfather.

To say that it has been a hard past few weeks is an understatement.

I think that when you lose someone who changed the trajectory of your life, you grieve, but you also ask yourself whether you are on the right path. I have been asking myself that question so much lately and I have come up with even more questions. Some of these are comforting and others are just confusing. I know that this is part of life and growing up, but to be thrust into it, has been a little confusing.

Anyway, I wrote this about my grandfather when he passed away and I thought I should share it with you.

My grandfather was a serious, kind, warm, and funny man. Most of my life I saw him as staple in my life because he was my Dad’s Dad. It wasn’t until I was seventeen, when prompted by a high school project, that I sat down to interview him and really talk about his life. It was then that I learned that he was human as we spoke about his childhood, his time serving in the military, his many jobs after that, when he met my grandmother, his kids, and so many other details that I had never really thought about when it came to him. After we were done with this interview, I remember proceeding to help him shave and thinking that he wasn’t just my grandfather. He was a man who had lived such a full and challenging life. A life where he experienced more than I would ever experience in my lifetime, yet somehow he had made so much out of it and provided so much for all of his family.
Although most of my adult life was spent away from him, I will miss him dearly. My grandfather was someone who, despite having this tremendous sense of authority over you, made you feel listened to and included in any decision. He made you feel safe and special, no matter who you were. He made you laugh with his jokes, not only because they were sometimes funny, but also because you were waiting for that boisterous laugh to come out at any moment.
It is an understatement to say that he was one of the most influential men in my life. He not only helped shape part of who I am, like he did so many of his grandchildren, but he effectively changed the course of my family’s life. He was a great father who provided all of his children with the educational opportunities he did not have growing up. He provided my father with all the tools that would eventually help him get to the US. He also taught him how to be such a caring and loving father, like he was.
My grandfather will be missed so much. I will particularly miss giving him kisses on the cheek and expecting to feel his beard under my lips. I will miss his laugh and the way he called me by my first and middle name. I am comforted by the fact that although his passing was sudden, it was peaceful, and surrounded by so many of the people he cared about.
My grandfather brought so much goodness into all of our lives. I am really thankful for that. It is my hope that these words honor his contributions to my life.
I will write more uplifting things later, but I felt the need to honor my grandfather for now.
xoxo,
M
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