Hope you are all having a great Sunday and that the week ahead is great!
I thought that I should write a bit about the summer and the beginning of fall. I know that I am a bit late on this, but bare with me.
This summer and the beginning of fall were really transformative periods for me. After going through some disastrous breakups, which left me feeling really vulnerable, and dealing with the stresses of graduate school, I took it upon myself to actually enjoy the past few months.
The summer started off with me having hip surgery. It was not my best moment and was probably the all time low of my year, but I had surgery and put on a positive attitude to get through the recovery process. It was not easy and I felt so annoyed at my body and at life for having me go through yet another challenge. After eight weeks of being on crutches, I finally began to walk on my own, and managed to regain some of my independence. While still recovering though, I went to Governor’s Ball music festival. I got to sit at all of the handicapped zones because I was still on crutches, which was a plus because I really got some great views. I had a hard time walking around and was in some pain, but I do not regret going. It was the highlight of my summer especially because I got to see Florence and the Machine…and Florence was awesome. These experiences are what makes it all worth it for me. Pushing myself to go to this, was a questionable life decision, but I will always remember walking through the mud with my crutches and singing along to all the great artists that came out for the festival.
Apart from music festivals, I really got to enjoy the city. I went out to so many different museums this summer. There is something about art that always resonates with me and makes me feel like talent is boundless. It also fills my heart and reminds me that no matter what is going on in my life, there is so much beauty to look forward to. While visiting museums, I bummed around the city, visiting local coffee shops, markets, and trying out new food. This was the first summer where I felt like this city was my best friend and that I had managed to finally make some really serious dates with it.
As the summer turned into fall, I also left NYC to travel to Europe. The trip was awesome on a professional and personal level. Professionally a lot of the questions that I had in mind about what I want for the future, got answered. I needed to be away from the graduate school environment to really ask myself what it was that I wanted and how I was going to accomplish it. I also needed to be away from this city to regain perspective on my life. Some of the most important decisions in my life, thus far, have been made in this city. There is happiness that comes along with that, but also some sadness because I’ve lost a lot of people whom I loved dearly while in this city. I’ve lost relationships and friendships, which is bitter-sweet. It was good to get away and remind myself that I can only be accountable for the way that I feel and act, and that my attitude is everything.
So with these and many more experiences that have presented themselves over the past few months, I’ve come to have new viewpoints. Graduate school still stresses me out, makes me wonder whether it is all worth it, gives me anxiety about when I will be done and if I will be successful, but I also remind myself that it is all about perspective. If I’ve learned anything in the past few months, it is that no matter what the situation, I decide how I feel about it. I decide what I do about it and whether it is going to change my outlook on life. This doesn’t only apply to grad school, but also my health. Having surgery was not easy, the recovery has not been easy either, and I probably have been in the most amount of pain ever, but how I react to it is really up to me.
With that, I hope that I continue to have these new viewpoints in life as the year ends. I am sure new adventures will come….and I am up for all the new challenges.
Let’s see what the rest of the year brings.